5 Techniques to Help Teen Boys Cope With Anxiety During College Applications

Our teenage years are filled with some of the most anxiety-inducing moments of our lives. Coming to terms with our place in the world and deciding what direction we want to take is overwhelming. Teen boys are struggling more than ever in this day and age where masculine traits are under extreme scrutiny.

The process of puberty coupled with the uncertainty of their life’s direction causes strain on even the healthiest young man. Did you know that puberty in boys lasts for up to five years on average? That’s a long time to be dealing with drastic emotional and physical changes, especially while attempting to study.

Armed with the wisdom that comes with age, parents can help their children with college admission anxiety in several ways. Read on for five techniques to help them out!

1. Understand College Admission Anxiety

For the most part, college admission anxiety is completely understandable. All it takes is to put yourself in the shoes of your teen son for a moment or two. It wasn’t so long ago you were a teenager yourself, so their worries and problems ought not to be so hard to imagine.

The issues young people in general are being forced to shoulder these days are certainly cumulative. Feelings of acute anxiety in the face of college applications are often caused by the compounding effect of the stresses of life in general. If the problem was tackled logically, we would never subject our teenagers to such rigorous structure while they’re going through tumultuous hormonal changes.

Unfortunately, the system is what it is and shows no signs of changing with our children's best interests in mind. Instead, while they’re trying to get to grips with who they are as a person, we force them through a series of tests. We then tell them if they fail these tests, not only are they a failure as human beings but their future is reduced to so much ash as a direct result.

This may seem an exaggeration, but as far as your teen son is concerned it's probably right on the money. Showing you can see how tough their position is will not only strengthen your parent-child relationship but also their resolve to do their best.

2. Take the Time to Listen

Teenagers and boys especially are likely to internalize a great deal of their worry. What might outwardly seem a thoughtful or quiet demeanor may well be masking hidden turmoil. A problem shared is a problem halved, so encourage them to open up and listen to whatever they have to say.

Even if what they talk about isn’t directly related to their worries or anxieties, healthy conversation is an excellent release of pressure regardless.

Listening is a powerful tool that often goes ignored. Professional teen counseling is essentially just that, but guided in such a way as to be especially helpful, and is always worth considering!

3. Ensure Home Is a Refuge

This might sound obvious, but having somewhere your child feels safe and secure does wonders for their mental health. No matter what’s going on at school or outside of it, knowing they have somewhere they’re welcome and loved is foundational.

Imagine having to put up with all the stresses of school knowing it’s going to be just as bad when you get home. For a young mind to grow and develop properly, reliable relaxation isn’t only helpful, it’s a necessity. Fostering a space of acceptance and security will serve as a powerful bulwark against stress becoming too much to deal with.

A routine is a good place to start. Having breakfast and dinner at the same time ensures they’ve got some structure to work around. These are also fantastic moments for conversation and to check in with your teen to see how they’re getting on and what might be improved upon.

4. Don’t Be Overbearing

While a little structure is important, too much can be stifling and add considerably to the stress of applying for college. The last thing you want is for your boy to use up their mental energy dealing with the added stress of an overbearing parent. You undoubtedly want the best for your son, and too short a leash will only cause pain and discomfort for both of you.

Your position in the relationship is one of benevolent authority, not prison warden. Ruling with an iron fist only plants the seeds of rebellion and a child who rebels isn't likely to succeed. It may be hard to hear, but a gentle guiding hand is always preferable to the route of the staunch authoritarian.

5. Keep Him Well Fed

The old saying that “You are what you eat,” has its roots in good sense and factual accuracy, and what do teenagers eat? What you feed them, of course. It’s your job not only to be their friend and counselor but also their nutritionist.

A diet consisting of whole foods is the backbone of getting into college and securing a decent high school GPA. The occasional stack of pancakes is great for morale, but not so great for their nutrition. Access to a healthy and well-balanced diet is never more important than it is during teen development.

Studying requires a great deal of energy expenditure, so keep their tanks full! This will also enable them to enjoy physical exercise without getting tired so easily. Routine physical exercise stimulates brain growth, so making sure they’ve got the energy for it is of vital importance.

There are also many studies suggesting physical exercise directly reduces feelings of anxiety and promotes healthy emotional balance.

Do Your Best

Children have an acute sense of whether or not their parents care about them. Simply doing your best will go a long way to reassure them while they’re feeling anxious.

Be there for them, and take care to let them know you love them and that the college application process isn’t the end of the world, whatever the outcome.

If you have any questions about therapy, college admission anxiety, or your child’s mental health in general, check out our FAQ page for more information!